Having my own epiphany made me snap into trying hard to change my life. It's not because I had health issues - I have always been healthy although I have always been overweight. I never missed much school as a child due to illness, as an adult I have not often been sick, and other than the depression I have certainly not been diagnosed with anything. Changing things was what I needed to do.
I said in an earlier entry that I still treat myself if I want something,my biggest thing that I can't go without right now is microwave popcorn - preferably cheese flavoured. I know it's not fantastic for me, but it has to be a bit better to indulge in this with my husband while watching TV than eating a whole bag of chicken potato chips to myself! That is the one thing that I am afraid could destroy my new lifestyle. My kryptonite if you will - chicken flavoured potato chips. Where possible I try not to even keep them in the house, unless it's as a treat for hubby and the kids. I am still worried that I would give in and have one little chip and I would be like a shark in a feeding frenzy. I really don't know if I could stop at just 1, sure at a party I could convince myself to behave and just have a little nibble, but at home I don't know if I could.
So this got me thinking - What do you eat a lot of that maybe you could cut out or substitute with something else? And more importantly - what would it take for you to have an epiphany and change your life? It may not be losing weight, it may be exercising more or drinking less or quitting smoking. What would it take for you to do it? Would it be a realisation that your sugars are too high and you are bordering on diabetes? The Doctor telling you that if you don't do something, you could die? Realising that if you don't change your life your kids could be growing up minus a parent? Or would it be as simple as standing buck naked in the bathroom and baring a lot more than just your soul to yourself like I did.
I still remember that night so clearly - just standing there, crying at what I had done to myself and what I had let myself become. It was hard enough to admit it to myself let alone my husband and then the nurse, and then to post it on the internet in a blog! Reliving all those emotions as I wrote it all down was hard, and I would cry as I re-read my notes to myself, but maybe that is another thing that has helped me stay focused.
I am certainly not there yet and don't profess to be, but it is nice to be slowly wrapping my head around things and know that my stomach is shrinking. There was an advert on TV the other night for a special KFC box - you get a burger or wrap, potato and gravy, chips and a wicked wing for $5. I said to my husband "Gees that looks good, but if I bought it I don't know if I would be able to eat it all..." A few months ago I would have gone in there and bought two of those deals just for me!
I guess it's all baby steps and bit by bit. You can't change the world in a day, but if you really want to and can persevere and be patient, you can certainly work on changing your life. But you are the only one that can do it.
My mother used to always tell me when I was a teenager "It's easier to lose the weight while you are young, it gets harder as you get older" but I wasn't ready to listen and I wasn't patient enough to try. Now we get these weight loss shows like Biggest Loser that shows dramatic and unrealistic changes that we as normal people in the real world could never achieve. Sure I cry along with everyone else and spit out words like "Amazing" and "Fantastic" only to read in magazines months later about the contestants current body battles because they couldn't keep up the lifestyle they were put into on the show. Oh yes, I have applied, I would have given it a good go and cried and thrown my guts up on national television, but it was not meant to be, and to be honest now, I am glad. I am happy to just potter along at my own pace doing what I am doing. Finally I have found something that I am enjoying and that is working for me. I am eating better food and less of it, yet I am rarely ever hungry. I used to get rough and pimply skin on my arms, but that has pretty much cleared up, leaving them smooth and as they should be. I have more of a jawline than I have in years, and even my enormous hooters have retreated a bit! So many more pros than cons for what I am doing, and because I am enjoying it so much I truly wonder how I didn't click into it a long time ago.
Oh yeah, that's right. My bloody mind wasn't ready. Thank goodness it is now :)
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